I'll be honest. Today was a rough day. This will be short.
Jonah gushed one time yesterday and three times today after probably five days of not gushing at all. Needless to say, I'm completely frustrated and confused. I don't get it. He barely had enough today to stay hydrated.
His tube has been leaking more than usual today. When I finally got him to drink an ounce of Apple Juice, it leaked out of his tube and all over his shirt. Yes, the little flappy was closed. I don't know why or how it leaked.
He had his fifteen month check-up this afternoon, including three shots and getting the granulation tissue that's growing under his tube cauterized with Silver Nitrate. He was completely freaked out any time they touched him to do anything.
I had my annual check-up at my OBGYN office. It was much more difficult to be there than I anticipated. Facing the happy memories of being pregnant, the horrible memories of Gabe's death and the anxiety I felt with my pregnancy with Jonah, and facing the reality that I'll never be pregnant again kind of slapped me in the face. I hated it.
And to top things off, Jonah is regressing on his solids eating. He will only eat a little bit of soup (sometimes) as compared to 1/2 cup twice a day before. And remember the yogurt he loved that one day last week? Well, now he gags, cries, and pushes the spoon away when you try to feed it to him. Same yogurt. Same time of day. Same spoon. Frustrating.
I know these are all little things in the scheme of things, but all piled into one day... too much.
I'm hoping that maybe Jonah just has a little tummy virus or something and that we're not going to start having those bad tolerance issues again. A lot of the vomit today came from oral feeding. Some came after I had used the tube.
I really want to switch to all blended foods through the tube instead of formula, but it is so hard to get the calories he needs in small enough quantities that he can handle it, while still getting all the food groups, vitamins, and ounces for hydration he needs. But man, I'm reaching my limit with formula.
It's been a long day. I'm glad it's over. Tomorrow has got to be better.
